There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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