I bet he comes in French.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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