it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
