What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize