Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
