If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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