I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
