and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
