I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
