I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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