I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize