So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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