i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
