Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
