Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize