Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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