Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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