Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
