Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
