All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
