it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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