I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
this hospital has no fireball
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
