I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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