if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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