Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
