YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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