saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
