First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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