We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
