Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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