she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
