dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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