I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
