What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
