i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize