Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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