Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
