don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
