Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
