im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
