Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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