Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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