I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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