Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
