Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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