i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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