do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
