Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
