The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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