Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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