Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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