it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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