Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
