I need to stop coming to work sober
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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