I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
