he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
