I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
