so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
