why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
