bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
