i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
