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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?

  (941): View more from Florida

  better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Our relationship needs a sober moment

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  I'll call you when that happens

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?

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• (786): View more from Florida

  Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...

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