I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
