You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we made out on top of his cat.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
