i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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