.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
