I need to stop coming to work sober
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
