I am puke
literally had 100 drinks last night.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
