You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
