he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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